Deaf people are HIV positive - because HIV stands for Hearing Impaired Victim. The good news is that you cannot spread AIDS - they are your hearing aids. ☺
(Submitted from Aletta Lloyd (D) of Benoni - very funny! Tks. Eds.)
LOUD AND CLEAR
Uncle John realizes he needs a hearing aid. But he doesn’t want to spend much money.
“How much do they cost?” he asks the sales person.
“That depends,” the guy says. “They range from R2,00 to R2000,000.”
“Let’s see the R2,00 model,” Uncle John says.
The salesperson puts the device around Uncle John’s neck.
“You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructs.
“But how does it work?” Uncle John asks.
“For R2,00 you don’t get one that works,” the salesperson
replies, “But when people see it, they’ll talk louder!”
(YOU - May 2003)
DEAF TO THE WORLD
A man and a woman in the library, both deaf, are signing with intense gestures, apparently in a heated debate.
The woman seems very upset and starts signing her reply very fast to the point where the man can’t understand a word. She also signs in big, wide gestures, which is the equivalent of volume.
Finally, looking strained, her companion, takes her hands, “silencing” her. Then he signs, very slowly: “You don’t have to shout - I’m not blind!”
(YOU - Aug. 2004) |
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Praying over Sipho
The preacher says, “Anyone with needs to be prayed for, come forward, to the front of the altar.”
Sipho gets in line and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Sipho, what do you want me to pray about for you.”
Sipho replies: “Preacher, I need you to pray for my
hearing.”
 The preacher puts one finger in Sipho’s ear and he places the other hand on top of Sipho’s head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Sipho.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, “Sipho, how is your hearing now?”
Sipho says, “I don’t know,
Reverend, my hearing is only next Wednesday…!”
Note: (Hearing means trial of a lawsuit eg. at court - Eds.)
(Email from Shirley Visser (HoH) of Cape Town - Ouch! ☺ Tks. Eds.)
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